Don't Cry
by dutchtulips
Summary: movie based. songfic. another of my Peter/Mary Jane fics. I personally think it's one of my best. tell me what you think, and enjoy ;)


SD ~ Stan Lee, Marvel, Columbia. . . "Don't Cry" is by Seal. 

AN ~ I didn't think I'd be doing another Spiderman fic, but alas, Julius Caesar never had enough sense to listen to the Soothsayer. ("Beware the ides of March!") LOL. This is like, _the_ best song for Peter and Mary Jane, with that twist of Spiderman within. The story and lyrics are in Peter's POV (but with a little twist at the end), as if he's talking to Mary Jane. enjoy ;) 

**Don't Cry**

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****-dutchtulips- 

_Don't be so hard on yourself_

_Those tears are for someone else _

_I hear your voice on the phone _

_I hear you feel so alone _

_My baby_

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__"I call it a curse because it is a curse. Maybe some people don't think so. Maybe they'd love to have the ability to spin webs from their wrists, and have precognition, and everything else that I can do. But given time, I think they'd be calling it a curse just like me. 

"But they can't. They're not Spiderman. I _am._ I have all of these inhuman powers, and all in the simplicity of one high school field trip. When I got the Bite. The way life works out is very strange sometimes. Sometimes it doesn't work out the way you want at all. And sometimes you have to do things you don't want to, but it's for the best. But for Spiderman, all of those things are magnified. 

_"That's _why I call it a curse. It's my responsibility to protect. . .well, everyone. And I can't always do what I want to. I have to do what I'm obliged to do. Sometimes I feel like a priest, because they commit themselves to one thing and they must stay with that for the rest of their life. And neither can they love. 

"But I already do. Except that I turned you away. Mary Jane Watson, you have been, have always been, the one, the only one, I've ever truly loved. Forever I tried for you to notice me, and then you finally did. Forever I tried to be close to you, and I was. Forever I wanted you to love me just as I loved you, and you did. And finally I had you. 

"But no. I told you I could only be your friend. And then I walked away. But did I want to? Did I want to just leave you there, Mary Jane? Did I want to make you cry? 

"No. 

"Like I have said before, the story of my life begins with you, Mary Jane. My whole life has always been Mary Jane Watson. And even though I feel as if I've lost you forever, it still is. 

"We'll always be close, I guess, but it doesn't stop me from feeling like I've lost you. On the contrary, I walked away from _you._ I hurt _you. _I made you cry. I hurt you because I didn't want to hurt you. 

_When we were young, _

_And truth was paramount _

_We were older then, _

_And we lived a life without any doubt _

_Those memories, _

_They seem so long ago_

_What's become of them? _

_When you feel like me I want you to know_

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__"There will always be another Green Goblin that could come along and do to me exactly what he tried to do, exactly why I turned away from you, Mary Jane. Try to go through you, to put you in danger, to get to me. Because of who I am. I didn't want that to happen, God no. There could always be another evil person who figures out that I'm Spiderman, and tries to use it against me. 

"I was trying to protect you. I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you because another villian like the Green Gobline were to find out that I'm really Peter Parker. I didn't want to turn you away, either. That day, in the graveyard, when you kissed me and told me you loved me, and I just walked away - that, Mary Jane, is the most painful thing I've had to do. And to the person I love more than anyone. 

"But you don't have to cry, Mary Jane, thinking that I've rejected you and that I don't love you. Because I do. Very, very much. All I've ever wanted was to be able to say so, and now I finally can. I turned away _because_ I love you. 

_Don't cry, not alone _

_Don't cry tonight, my baby _

_Don't cry, you'll always be loved _

_Don't cry tonight, my baby_

"It's imperative for you to understand, and I hope that you can. I've told you the two most important things about me - that I love you, and that I am Spiderman. I didn't explain to you that day, and I should have. I told you that I could only offer you friendship, and I walked away, and that was all. I left you there to cry. You didn't deserve that, Mary Jane. You deserved to know. . . and an explanation to everything. Why didn't I give you one? 

"I haven't talked to you for a while. Not since that day. I suppose that's why I'm spilling all of this out now, and to you. I've been bursting, overcome, with a million emotions since forever. And I've been wanting to tell you for a very long time about. . .me. About everything. I've needed someone to unburden to, someone who will understand and sympathize and love me. . .like you do. 

"And my story is this. 

"You, and the spider bite. Avenging my uncle, protecting citizens, fighting crime. And you. You changed my life, the spider bite changed my life, and Uncle Ben dying changed my life. 

"You changed my life simply because you were in it, Mary Jane. 

"The spider bite changed my life because it's given me the ability to be Spiderman. 

"Uncle Ben's death changed my life because it inspired me to use my ability to be Spiderman. 

_Today I dreamed _

_Of friends I had before _

_And I wonder why_

_The ones who care don't call anymore _

_My feelings hurt _

_But you know I overcome the pain _

_And I'm stronger now _

_There can't be a fire unless there's a flame_

"I am two people now. One of them loves you and would want nothing more than to be with you until the end of time, but the other one can't risk it. But the both of them want to protect you, and want you to be safe and remain unharmed. Peter Parker doesn't want you to put yourself in the danger that Spiderman lives with. 

"But I still love you, Mary Jane. Even if Spiderman can't risk being with you, Peter Parker will always love you. Whenever you feel sad, just remember that. 

_Don't cry, you're not alone _

_Don't cry tonight, my baby _

_Don't cry, you'll always be loved _

_Don't cry_

_Limousines and sycophants _

_Don't leave me now _

_'Cause I'm afraid of what you've done to me _

_Is now the wolf _

_In my bed _

_In my head..._

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__"I hope that now you can understand. I hope that now you can forgive me. And, I hope that I have not lost you_ - _now because you understand and you forgive me. You will always be one of the most important people in my life, Mary Jane. The moment you came into it, you were there to stay. 

"It's a curse. Maybe some people wouldn't think so. Maybe they'd love to have the ability to do all of the things that I can. And maybe after they stand in my shoes for awhile, they'll say it's a curse, too. I say it is because it is. It prevents me from living a normal life. It prevents me from not having so many burdens, and that so, so many things are in my hands. It prevents me from being with you. 

"You once told me I was amazing, I remember that. And I'm still glad you think so. But it's not easy to be me all of the time, I know you understand. It's a hard life for me. I've had to endure just about everything imaginable. But there are upsides. You're one of them." 

_The challenges we took were hard enough _

_They get harder now _

_Even when we think that we've had enough _

_Don't feel alone _

_'Cause it's I you understand _

_I'm your sedative _

_Take a piece of me whenever you can _

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_Don't cry tonight, my baby _

_These tears are for someone else_

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__Mary Jane Watson, who had just retrieved the letter from her post office box, looked up from the paper now, her heartbeat racing. Peter had written her this letter, had spilled all of his emotions out on these pages, had told her everything. Her feet were leaden to the floor with disbelief of all of the things there in her hands. 

_He did it because he loves me. He wrote me these things, and told me all of these things, because he loves me. Peter Parker loves me, just as I love him. _She clutched the letter close and close her eyes, growing enamored with her thoughts of Peter and the letter he had written. 

_Don't cry, you'll always be loved _

_I hear your voice on the phone_

_Don't cry tonight, sweet baby_

__

__Suddenly, out of nowhere, Mary Jane felt a tap on her shoulder. Startled, she nearly dropped the letter. Her eyes fluttered open and her heartbeat began to quicken again. As if _she_ were the one who had precognition, Mary Jane _knew_. Instinctively, she knew. She turned around to face the person, without realizing that she had squeezed her eyes shut once more. 

Then she heard it. It was barely a whisper. 

"MJ." 

And Mary Jane knew it was him. "Did you mean it? Everything that you told me?" 

"Every word. With all of my heart," Peter whispered back. 

Her eyes were still closed. "I don't care about the danger, Peter. I don't care about the risks. It's worth being together. We can weather the storm. Together." 

There was a long silence. Long enough, in fact, that Mary Jane - her eyes still closed - had been almost sure that he had gone and left her. But as a lone tear began to roll down her cheek, Mary Jane felt something she'd hadn't been expecting, but had surely felt before. Peter's lips resting softly on her own. 

_Don't cry, (don't you cry)_

_'Cause you still be loved _

_Don't cry _

_Don't cry tonight _

_My baby_

_You'll still be loved_

**el fin**

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